Tara Westover Educated

Amazon.com: Customer reviews: Educated



Educated
byTara Westover
Format: Audible Audiobook|Change
Write a review
See All Buying Options
Add to Wish List

===================

5.0 out of 5 stars
A powerful memoir of family drama and those who twist the reality of the past
BySuzanne AmaraTOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICEon October 30, 2017
Format: Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )


I was enthralled and moved by this powerful memoir. The author grew up in a survivalist family in Idaho, the youngest child. She was not homeschooled---instead, she simply didn't go to school at all, due to her father's mistrust of public schools. Her family didn't believe in modern medicine. Instead, her mother was an herbalist and midwife. Her father owned a junkyard. Her childhood is affected over and over by serious injuries of family members, injuries which are not treated.

As Tara gets into her preteen and teen years, one older brother in particular starts tormenting her, and the tormenting rises to the level of hugely severe abuse. In part in response to this, she decides to go to college, and by pretty much sheer force of will, does well enough on the ACT to get into Brigham Young University. From there, she starts a storied college career and eventually gets a doctorate from Cambridge. However, each time she is drawn back to the her family, her brother's abuse continues, and the family denial turns more and more severe. The memoir becomes a story of her internal struggle---to believe her own version of her life and to have the strength to break away from her past.

I've struggled with some issues of my own in remembering the past differently than others, and I well know the feeling that the author has over and over. One line, "reality becomes fluid", hit me very hard. When you know something happened a certain way, but others can't accept that reality and attempt to change the past by denying it---Tara Westover is able to write about this so powerfully I was crying at points.

I hope this book gets wide readership. It's an amazing glimpse into a way of life that most of us will never know, and an inspiring story of one woman's ability to change her future.

302 people found this helpful
---------

5.0 out of 5 stars
Tired, One Sitting Read...But Well Worth the Time Spent
ByDalJon March 6, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

I didn't set out to read this memoir at one sitting, ordering just the standard sample to be sent to my tablet...but after reading just that small sample, I immediately clicked on the "give me the whole chalupa button" so I could continue reading this absorbing & introspective memoir...the author never cuts herself any slack, just writing truthfully about how unprepared she was having endured the abuse from her family which had dominated her entire life before education brought her into adapting into the modern life the rest of us experience.

Jarring at times when the reality of her experiences can overwhelm one when reading this memoir, but by never resorting to asking for mercy regarding her actions & life, you get the true sense of her being trapped by being raised in a mean spirited world that featured deprivation as its main commodity, reflecting into her coarsely made aspects of life.

Between a domineering father, a beaten down mother and an abusive brother, she really had no chance of ending up in the life that she successfully fought for against the tides of family ties, religion, & society that had bound her into a life of servitude & misogyny. Her escape from it is almost anti-climatic in a matter of fact way, the abuse of everyday life for her was in itself the drama that holds the reader in suspense... Just as Mary Karr's "The Liar's Club" lets you see the inside of abuse young females sometimes are exposed to and have to take because of familial bonds and their lack of physical power. This alone leaves one wondering what happened afterwards. And like" The Liar's Club", it has the air of disbelief this couldn't actually be happening, or better yet, OMG, this actually happened! Its good to see someone make it thru this trap of abuse & misogyny, but at the same time, Ms. Westover lets you also see the potential traps that lie ahead as she escapes into a world she has no basis of experience in which to thrive...best maybe to be told in the future in another book with a different POV...for that matter, like Karr's "Cherry"or "Lit"...I will definitely look forward to see what Ms. Westover writes next, this book will be re-read several times in the future, each time I am sure I will find more aspects of being a male that I might be best to correct...or better yet, maybe to nurture.

My wife and her daughter, my stepdaughter, say I am doing fine as a male head of household, but it takes memoirs like this to give me the insight & desire into making myself into a better person so I can be thought of in a positive manner and to be loved because I did the right things for the entire family; me, my wife, my stepdaughter & stepson...its thru the pain women like Ms Westover & Ms Karr have suffered & now write about, that one sees how much better any man can become just by trying. I would never want my extended family to think of me in the ways Ms. Westover writes about her male familial people, I would want for myself to be thought of as a good man who held up his end of the bargain of family. Its by understanding the faults of men like Ms. Westover's stepdad and brother held onto in their world that I can then find my way into just by being a better man to my family...read it and see if it works in this same manner for you...dj

37 people found this helpful

Helpful

---

5.0 out of 5 stars
A Must-Read for Anyone Who Grew Up with Narcissistic Parents
ByCherilyn Cloughon March 8, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

I highly recommend this book about a girl whose childhood began on a beautiful mountain in a narrow world created by her father’s anti-establishment mindset of fear, insanity, and control and ended when she decided to venture out into the wider world and research the facts for herself. Will she come home? Can she come home? Or will home be more damaging to her spirit than the broader dangerous world her father fears? I will try not to give spoilers, but most of the information in this review was provided by the book’s author in interviews. It’s not the bare facts which are so fascinating, but the story itself and how it plays out. If you’ve ever been gaslighted, scapegoated or lied about by your own family, you will find in Tara Westover a true kindred spirit.

The title of this book might give the impression it’s merely about going to school. While the author’s lack of primary education is offset by her future ability to earn a doctorate at Cambridge, her education about society and the world outside her family is just as important as her rise academically.
You might say Tara Westover’s education started while she was very young. Her life began on an Idaho mountain with survivalist parents. A father who distrusts the government and runs an ever-spreading scrap yard. A mother who is practically coerced by her husband to become a midwife. Born the youngest in a family of seven, her mother must’ve burned out on homeschooling by the time Tara came along because she didn’t get much book learning. Her first level of education included prepping with her family for the time of desolation, dodging her father’s careless flung scrap metal while she does child labor in his junkyard and accompanying her mother to home births. Tara’s early survivalist education includes learning how to survive her parents’ ignorant choices and a bullying older brother—all of which are much greater threats than her father’s perceived threats of the government taking over their lives.
Her parents rarely leave the mountain. They are home-birthers, home-schoolers, anti-vaxers, anti-establishment and anti-medical care. In a nutshell, her father seems nutso—more like a deranged lunatic with a massive stockpile of weapons than a father.
Tara’s mother appears to be her husband’s enabler as she meekly follows suit and rationalizes his unhealthy choices even when they threaten her safety and the health of her children. As a matter of fact, for a woman who eventually created a lucrative business by claiming to be a healer by designing her own line of essential oils, her mother’s only safety instinct seems to be to protect the family secrets.
As Tara watched the insanity and chaos of her parents’ poor choices, she had one example of life beyond the mountain. One older brother left home and went to college. He encouraged her to do the same. This book is about her quest to get out from under her father’s control—first physically, then emotionally and eventually spiritually. This process didn’t happen overnight. As anyone who has grown up under a narcissistic parent and knows what it’s like to be bullied and gaslighted will find it easy to relate to Tara’s journey.

This memoir is the story of a girl who was thirsty for knowledge, got a sip of real truth and refused to drink the kool-aid any longer. It’s the story if being scapegoated and gaslighted until she questions her sanity. It’s sad, but this book is also about the loss of siblings who would prefer to vote the family line than treat their sister as a friend. It’s also a story of triumph about the girl who escaped the box she was expected to stay in and become the one who got away from all the drama and insanity of her family of origin.
It’s incredible that Tara Westover succeeded in getting a doctorate from Cambridge, but even more amazing is her social education and how she eventually transformed like Pygmalion and was able to self-differentiate from her parents and choose the life she desired for herself.
This book is an exciting read. I read it around the clock within two days. It’s also complicated enough to provoke intellectual discourse about what it means to be faithful to oneself and how loyalty to family plays out against self-worth and self-knowledge.
This memoir is the fourth book I’ve reviewed about a woman raised in a fundamentalist Mormon family. The first three were all brought up in polygamous households, but Tara only had two parents who kept their family in the local ward despite her father’s concerns about the Illuminati infiltrating the mainstream Mormon church. This family looks Mormon from the outside, but a more sinister agenda lies under the surface. She makes it clear this is NOT a book about Mormons but rather the head-spinning tale of a dysfunctional family. She reminds us that most Mormons send their children to public school and go to the doctor when it seems necessary. The fundamentalist vibes which are all there, under a cloak of self-righteousness, could be manifested within any denomination or cult.
The only thing that made this book uncomfortable for me to read was the descriptions of the terrible injuries this family continually sustained due to the father’s stupidity. I constantly cringed at these stories much like I would while watching a show about life-threatening emergencies. Even worse, her father truly believed all these near death injuries were ordained by his arbitrary version of God. It was all I could do to keep from screaming. Such vivid descriptions were necessary though for the reader to understand what Tara had to endure.
It’s not much of a spoiler to say Tara is eventually going to go no contact with some of her family members. She has told this in interviews. What is impressive about Tara is that she shows no bitterness. She loves her parents and family but has chosen to separate from them as a boundary for her sanity. Or did they shun her first? As in most narcissistic family survivor stories, it’s often hard to tell.
This memoir is a true survival story about surviving a survivalist mindset. This book is the tale of narcissistic, emotional and spiritual abuse and one girl’s victory in becoming herself despite being vilified and gaslighted. My favorite quote from the book sums up Tara’s journey,
“I am not the child my father raised, but he is the father who raised her.” -Tara Westover
Tara’s story is a victory of education, but even more, it’s a triumph of her courage to rise up beyond the mountain—the only home she ever had to find her authentic home within herself. Bravo Tara Westover! You are an amazing survivor! Thank you for documenting your often painful journey so the rest of us can know that although our stories may vary, we are not alone.

65 people found this helpful
---

5.0 out of 5 stars
Superb
ByEllen C.on March 9, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I finished this powerful, tender but also deeply disturbing memoir yesterday and I'm still thinking about it. At first I was astounded to see that Tyler Westover, the brother who was so instrumental in his sister's liberation, had written a review here that was somewhat critical of the book, questioning the accuracy of some of his sister's memories, and clearly wanting to defend his family's fundamental decency. But then I wasn't surprised at all given that the author herself does the same thing throughout the book, even acknowledging in a postscript the challenges inherent in trying to accurately recall events that occurred years in the past. No one doubts that three people can witness the same event and twenty years later give differing accounts of it. Notably, her brother takes no issue with the most horrifying aspects of the childhood that his sister exposes. There are laws against that sort of thing for a reason. It's disturbing to say the least that their brother "Shaun" is still at large when, even if the author's memory is only ten percent accurate, he should be behind bars.

29 people found this helpful

---

5.0 out of 5 stars
Kind of Triggering but Also Encouraging
ByShayon March 11, 2018
Format: Audible Audiobook|Verified Purchase
I grew up with a less extreme version of the same background - fundamentalist parents, rampant misconceptions about our world and our history, and abuse to endure as the price for maintaining a relationship with my family. I picked up this book out of the hope to find a narrative I could relate to, and something that would lay further groundwork for my own healing and recovery. It ended up being a little hard for me to read - the book's most detailed moment graphically depict the physical abuse that Sean causes Tara, her father's endangerment of everyone who works in his junkyard (and manipulation and threats to everyone who doesn't), and the gaslighting her family directs at her when she speaks out against her abuse. This makes me think I may not have quite been the target audience for the book. I had to wait until the end of the book for the resolution I was hoping for, and even then it surprised me with more family loyalty than distance (if also resilience and better understanding) - reminding me that there's no such thing as a clean narrative of abuse.

Aside from my own personal relationship to the narrative, I thought it was a really meaningful and important story to tell. I'm really glad to have this story showing how hard it is to navigate these kinds of family dynamics, and I hope this book can be informative - and encouraging - to others as well.

26 people found this helpful

---

5.0 out of 5 stars
Brilliant, riveting, inspiring account of an extraordinary life
ByRobynJCVINE VOICEon February 26, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The true story of how a young woman grew up living off-the-grid, with no birth certificate or education, in a violent, mentally unstable, survivalist family, and found her own way, step by jagged step, to a Ph.D. at Cambridge University. A riveting account of growing up in a world where violence is part of every day life, and the emotional toll that takes on a child, to the incredible, potent power of education to haul oneself out.

Educated is a series of absolutely gripping set pieces. There's the story of nine-year-old Tara finding her older brother Luke, his leg on fire, in the front yard, and wrapping his leg in a trash bag so it wouldn't get infected before submerging it in a garbage can to stop it from burning. And then being scolded by her mother for using plastic trash bag, which melted to the skin. And the humiliation of her first college lecture, when one of the words on a slide was unfamiliar and she asked her professor what the Holocaust was.

There is also the devastating account of an entire family held hostage to the madness and violence of their father, and the brutal terrorism of one son; how each member of the family tries at different times to free themselves from this madness, and how so many of them fail, and the cost that comes with success.

It's about the unimaginable toll of a lifetime of mental and physical abuse, of being denied not just education, but a sense of self; of how the people we love can try to destroy us by taking away our own history, and how hard it is---but how vital---to fight back.

Brilliant book. Wouldn't be surprised if it's the best thing I read this year.

50 people found this helpful

---

5.0 out of 5 stars
Amazing book
Byearthygirl17on March 6, 2018
Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I loved this book because it mirrors my own life so much and was so validating. My mother has borderline personality disorder, I ran away from home to get a medical degree never believing I could, and still I am often shocked with how my family makes me out to be a terrible person when I get along with the rest of the world besides them so well. My whole life I had wondered what was wrong with me, until I moved away and realized it was my family, not me, and I grew up in severe dysfunction. Ditching narrow minded religion (of the Catholic variety) was the best thing I ever did for myself. I thoroughly enjoyed this because I have lived a similar story and it is always nice to hear you are not alone. Fantastic read. Thank you for writing this Dr. Westover. It was so nice to hear it’s not just me.

16 people found this helpful

---

5.0 out of 5 stars
Abuse is abuse
ByJust a Florida Momon March 5, 2018
Format: Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I picked up the book after hearing Tara’s fascinating interview on NPR. I read the book straight through because it was so compelling. I understand that any memoir is subject to one’s interpretation of events. Any sibling knows that a shared experience can be seen through a different lens. However, abuse is just that. It’s abuse. And the heart of abuse is making the victim believe it’s somehow their fault. These parents no doubt loved their child, but they failed to protect her from an abusive sibling which is a crime. Their remoteness may have spared them from the law or scrutiny by the community, but they are still responsible. It’s appalling that they are currently taking credit for her educational success because they “home schooled” her. I’ve known people who have successfully home school their children, and her parents did nothing of the sort. Life has a way of sorting out these things and the truth eventually comes out. I’m glad Tara was able to escape the distorted reality of her parents home and write this book. It’s disturbing but well written, and will haunt your thoughts long after you’ve finished it.

22 people found this helpful

----

5.0 out of 5 stars
A Historiographer's History
Byamachiniston February 27, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This memoir is difficult to read: it is extremely disturbing yet very addictive.

The author was born and reared in the mountains of rural Idaho "off the grid" by survivalist parents who are devout Mormons. The seven children are home-birthed, partially home-schooled and homeopathically treated for medical issues. Their father's paranoid and strong views about "liberal, socialist intervention" by the US Government, lead him to amass caches of food, guns, water and gasoline for the impending Days of Abomination. He sermonizes frequently quoting at length passages from both the book of Isaiah and the Book of Mormon. He puts his children at great physical danger by employing them in his metal scrapping and construction businesses. The mother is both a mid-wife and herbalist who eventually builds up a huge business shipping tinctures and oils to homeopaths worldwide. The parents are aware of the physical and mental abuse meted out by an older brother on his siblings, especially their two daughters, but refuse to acknowledge it. In the end, it is the author who stands alone in the rejection of the abuse, neglect and her parents. But she is damaged.

How the author went to college and earned both a BA with honors from BYU and a DPhil from Cambridge University is testimony to her intelligence and persistence. She does it all on her own with the encouragement of professors and friends. Writing this book is certainly a part of her healing process. The reader must keep in mind that he is experiencing the author's life through her lens, but that in no way detracts from the power of the narrative. Has the exercise of writing this memoir exorcised all the demons? Probably not, but it does provide an education on family and the strength of an individual.

29 people found this helpful

----

5.0 out of 5 stars
Stunning, fascinating and heartbreaking.
ByR GBZon February 27, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I couldn’t put this book down. It’s an incredible story but one that I know is true. I lived around people like the author’s family in a small town in southern Utah. Insular, government hating, paranoid. Lots of guns and lots of preparation for the end. This kind of atmosphere breeds extremism. In the case of the authors’ father, mental illness was a factor in his astonishing lack of concern for their physical well-being, along with his obstinate and crazy religious ideas, but
the mother’s complicity bothers me the most. Rather than defending her children she defends her violent and controlling husband (and son). The author possesses a fortitude and intelligence and talent that is astonishing, in light of where she came from. Her resiliency is heroic.

18 people found this helpful
-----------