Rob K. Henderson - Wikipedia Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class

Rob K. Henderson - Wikipedia

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Rob Henderson
Born December 18, 1990 (age 33)
Occupation Political commenter
Education Yale University, University of Cambridge
Subject Politics
Psychology
Notable works Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class
Website
www.robkhenderson.com


Robert Kim Henderson (born December 18, 1990) is an American writer and political commentator known for popularizing the idea of luxury beliefs. 

His memoir, Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class, was published in 2024 by Simon & Schuster's Gallery Books.[1]

Early life and education[edit]

Henderson's mother was born in Seoul, while his father, who he did not grow up with, was of Mexican and Spanish origin. His mother, who suffered from substance abuse, was unable to care for him, leading to him being sent to foster care at the age of three.[2] Henderson was raised in various foster homes around the state of California. He was adopted by a working class family at the age of 7 in the town of Red Bluff, California, and his parents later divorced.[2] He served in the United States Air Force after high school. Following his enlistment, Henderson attended Yale University with the support of the G.I. Bill, where he earned a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. Henderson then earned a Doctor of Philosophy in Psychology from the University of Cambridge with the support of a Gates Cambridge Scholarship.[3][4]

Luxury beliefs[edit]

Henderson has published a variety of essays about his education and political views in major outlets including The New York Times,[5] The Wall Street Journal,[6] and The Times.[7] In his editorials, he develops the idea of "luxury beliefs", defined as ideas that "confer status on members of the upper class at little cost while inflicting costs on persons in lower classes." This term has gained considerable popularity, including coverage in The Atlantic[8] and The Economist,[9] as well as features on podcasts including Honestly with Bari Weiss and The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast.[10]

Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class[edit]

In his memoir, Henderson details his experience of being abandoned by his mother and growing up in the foster care system. He explains the emotional challenges he has faced due to the absence of a stable family. 

The latter section of the book details his educational journey and the experiences which inspired his development of the term "luxury beliefs".[11]

A 2024 investigation by The Economist on the question of whether the New York Times Bestseller List had a political bias reported that Henderson's book had been omitted from the list despite selling enough copies to rank at least in fourth place. 

Henderson's exclusion had earlier been denounced as a sign of political bias by Elon Musk.[12]

See also[edit]

Costly signaling theory in evolutionary psychology
Richard Hanania
Curtis Yarvin

References[edit]

1. ^ Henderson, Rob (2024-02-20). Troubled. Simon and Schuster. ISBN 978-1-9821-6853-7.
2. ^ Jump up to:a b Henderson, Rob (2024-05-06). "How the luxury beliefs of an educated elite erode society". The Times. ISSN 0140-0460. Retrieved 2024-05-06.
3. ^ Henderson, Rob. "About - Rob Henderson's Newsletter". www.robkhenderson.com. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
4. ^ "Biography | Gates Cambridge". Gates Cambridge -. 2020-06-25. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
5. ^ Henderson, Rob (2020-10-10). "Opinion | Everything I Know About Elite America I Learned From 'Fresh Prince' and 'West Wing'". The New York Times. ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
6. ^ Henderson, Rob. "Essay | 'Luxury Beliefs' That Only the Privileged Can Afford". WSJ. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
7. ^ Henderson, Rob (2024-04-28). "How the luxury beliefs of an educated elite erode society". The Times. ISSN 0140-0460. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
8. ^ Friedersdorf, Conor (2024-03-02). "What 'Luxury Beliefs' Reveal About the Ruling Class". The Atlantic. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
9. ^ "A new book rebukes the "luxury beliefs" of America's upper class". The Economist. ISSN 0013-0613. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
10. ^ "Buckley Institute: "Luxury Beliefs Are Status Symbols" | Department of Political Science". politicalscience.yale.edu. Retrieved 2024-04-28.
11. ^ Henderson, Rob Kim (2024). Troubled: a memoir of foster care, family, and social class. New York: Gallery Books. ISBN 978-1-9821-6853-7.
12. ^ "Is the New York Times bestseller list politically biased?". The Economist. 11 June 2024. Retrieved 25 June 2024.

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Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class Hardcover – February 20, 2024
by Rob Henderson (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,105 ratings
4.2 on Goodreads
3,873 ratings




Rob Henderson

Chapter One: Until Your Heart Explodes

Chapter Two: The Parent Trap

Chapter Three: Burnout

Chapter Four: No Matter Where You End Up

Chapter Five: Little Boy

Chapter Six: Stray Dogs

Chapter Seven: What's Expected of You

Chapter Eight: Potentially Deleterious Effects

Chapter Nine: Who Is GI Bill, Gl Joe's Brother?

Chapter Ten: Problem Child

Chapter Eleven: Luxury Beliefs

Chapter Twelve: Twistable Turnable Man

Acknowledgments

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

In this “affecting…intriguing…heartbreaking” (Booklist) coming-of-age memoir, Rob Henderson vividly recounts growing up in foster care, enlisting in the US Air Force, attending elite universities, and pioneering the concept of “luxury beliefs”—ideas and opinions that confer status on the upper class while inflicting costs on the less fortunate.

Rob Henderson was born to a drug-addicted mother and a father he never met, ultimately shuttling between ten different foster homes in California. When he was adopted into a loving family, he hoped that life would finally be stable and safe. But divorce, tragedy, poverty, and violence marked his adolescent and teen years, propelling Henderson to join the military upon completing high school.

A “vivid, insightful, poignant, and powerful” (Nicholas A. Christakis, author of Blueprint) portrait of shattered families, desperation, and determination, Troubled recounts Henderson’s expectation-defying young life and juxtaposes his story with those of his friends who wound up incarcerated or killed.

As he navigates the peaks and valleys of social class, Henderson finds that he remains on the outside looking in. His greatest achievements—a military career, an undergraduate education from Yale, a PhD from Cambridge—feel like hollow measures of success. He argues that stability at home is more important than external accomplishments, and he illustrates the ways the most privileged among us benefit from a set of social standards that actively harm the most vulnerable.
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Even when you present opportunities to deprived kids, many of them will decline them on purpose because, after years of maltreatment, they often have little desire to improve their lives.
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I’ve come to understand that a warm and loving family is worth infinitely more than the money or accomplishments I hoped might compensate for them.
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From the Publisher








Editorial Reviews

Review
“A memoir of hardscrabble living, from foster care to the Air Force to Yale…. [Henderson] traces the contours of his remarkable and often-harrowing life, starting with his abandonment by his birth parents after serious mistreatment…. poignantly describ[ing] his rocky journey through numerous foster homes…. Shrewd on the narrowness and hypocrisy of elites… [he] is at his best in the frank observations about his trip up the ‘American status ladder’…. A blunt story about overcoming adversity.” —Kirkus Reviews

“Affecting…intriguing…heartbreaking...This eye-opening account lays bare the realities of America's deep economic and social divides.”
— Booklist

“Henderson’s story of self-discovery, growth, and resilience is a valuable contribution to the conversation about how our society must contend with the forever problem of kids who get separated from their parents—a subject shrouded in darkness.”
—LA Review of Books

“Rob Henderson had an incredibly challenging upbringing—raised as a foster kid in circumstances most children (thankfully) never know. His educational achievements are extraordinary. What’s more extraordinary is that he’s a keen observer of both the world he came from and the world he now inhabits. He has learned the importance of family despite never having one of his own, and he delivers that message in a gripping way. Read this book. It will challenge both your heart and mind. A rare feat.”
—J.D. Vance, author of Hillbilly Elegy

“In his superbly composed memoir, Rob Henderson illuminates an often overlooked segment of our nation. His profound saga — of his struggles as a foster kid attempting to pursue conventional badges of success and coming to realize the importance of family despite never having one — deserves careful attention.”
—Christy Carlson Romano, actress, co-founder of PodCo

“Troubled is an extraordinary document. It is a primary account of historical descriptions of life in working and lower middle class America in the late 20th-century. It is time to sit up and listen to the voices of those who have suffered because of the policies of the highly educated and affluent class that validates and affirms the behaviors and attitudes of marginalized children that they would never accept for themselves or their own children. Rob Henderson's story is breathtaking but all too familiar in this county. He reminds us that the child raised with experiences of abandonment and chaos will experience the same in their relationships and employment.”
—Dr. Drew Pinsky, author of The Mirror Effect

“Troubled reads at times like Hillbilly Elegy or Tara Westover’s Educated…[a] remarkable book.”
—Naomi Schaefer Riley, Commentary

“Troubled is vivid, insightful, poignant, and powerful. Beautifully written, it is a moving memoir, a powerful description of the predicament of countless foster children, and a sophisticated social critique. Using his own astonishing life as a guide, Rob Henderson sheds light on the plight of foster children and the ways that elites and policy makers often adopt ideas that do not, actually, advance the interests of those who are most vulnerable in our society. Troubled is magnificent.”
—Nicholas A. Christakis, author of Blueprint, and Sterling Professor of Social and Natural Science at Yale University

“A captivating memoir about the travails of foster care, the discipline of military service, the importance of family, and the shock of discovering what has become of elite universities, told with a clear voice and focused determination.”
—Jordan B. Peterson, author of 12 Rules for Life

“This memoir is a profound account of a foster child overcoming severe adversity and achieving the unthinkable. Rob's story reminds us of the resilience of the human spirit against all odds and, most of all, what it means to be human. You will likely cry, feel shocked, yet remain hopeful while reading this heart wrenching book.”
—Yeonmi Park, author of While Time Remains

About the Author

Rob Henderson grew up in foster homes in Los Angeles and the rural town of Red Bluff, California. He joined the US Air Force at the age of seventeen. Once described as “self-made” by The New York Times, Rob subsequently received a BS from Yale University and a PhD in psychology from St. Catharine’s College, Cambridge. His writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Boston Globe, and more. His weekly newsletter is sent to more than fifty thousand subscribers. Learn more at RobKHenderson.com.



Product details
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Gallery Books (February 20, 2024)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 336 pages

Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.3 x 9 inchesBest Sellers Rank: #27,764 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

#2 in Income Inequality
#41 in Sociology of Class
#898 in Memoirs (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,105 ratings



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Rob Henderson


Rob Henderson is the author of Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class. Once described as “self-made” by the New York Times, he grew up in foster homes in California, served in the US Air Force, and received a BS from Yale and a PhD in psychology from the University of Cambridge, where he studied as a Gates Cambridge scholar. In addition to his popular Substack newsletter, Rob’s writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Boston Globe, among other outlets.

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Customers find the book insightful, thought-provoking, and eye-opening. They describe it as an excellent, worthwhile read. Readers also describe the life story as compelling, honest, and poetic. They praise the writing style as well-written and clear.

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Lawrence1919
5.0 out of 5 stars Required reading for a classReviewed in the United States on October 1, 2024
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This was required reading for a class but is a great read. It combines a memoir with a structured outline of the issues. Highly recommended and this book still resonates with me.




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Willow
5.0 out of 5 stars An honest, gripping story with a compelling messageReviewed in the United States on August 14, 2024
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I liked the way the book is structured. It's mostly memoir, but it also has chapters putting the writer's life story into a broader societal context. I sped read it because it is so compelling and well-written.

Rob Henderson doesn't only focus on his childhood but also talks about life in his 20s and the problems he had then that had developed during his early years.

I was surprised by the number of childhood friends he had who also had unstable lives because of their parents' choices. It's a wonder society functions.

Henderson is very big on the two-parent family, and I do agree that two parents usually have more resources (including twice the love!) to provide a child. But I have known children raised by single parents (women) who have turned out to be healthy, successful adults. All of those situations, though, were very stable. The parent stayed in one house, had a stable job, wasn't drug addicted and didn't have a revolving door of romantic partners. They also had support from friends and family. I also know loving couples who have stayed together, but their children have greatly suffered from drug addictions. That's why it's good that Henderson provides a larger, societal picture, which statistically shows the advantages he advocates for.

The look into the foster care system he provided is jarring and it made me want to read other books about it.

I hope Henderson keeps writing and that publishers will publish his work.




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JF
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredible book - heartwarming, heartbreaking, and at times hilariousReviewed in the United States on February 20, 2024
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This story of a foster child who rose through the Air Force, Yale, and Cambridge will both warm and break your heart. Rob Henderson's insights as a psychologist and social critic make this a must read. He shares eye-opening stories about life in foster care and the struggle for a "troubled" young boy to improve his lot in life despite an environment priming him for self-destruction.

This is a book that will make you experience a full range of emotions in a single sitting. It reads easily, and excels at expressing Rob's internal thinking at various stages of his life. The author also has a Substack that dives deeper into many of the topics discussed in the book.


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Laurie
4.0 out of 5 stars A thought provoking and interesting read.Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2024
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This was a heartbreaking trip through the world of DSS and foster care but with the unnerving twist of holding up a mirror to the social elite and the unintended consequences of a flawed belief system. Thought provoking and intense.




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JTamH
5.0 out of 5 stars Well written with compelling insightReviewed in the United States on October 19, 2024
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I appreciate Henderson's ability to articulate not only his story and the things he learned on a personal level, but also the important insights that we all should all consider. This book is not limited to a memoir of an interesting individual but also provides a compelling call to action.




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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating. Perhaps even lifechanging.Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2024
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I'm a big fan of Rob Henderson's work and a long-time subscriber to his Substack, so I’m biased. But I think Troubled is essential reading because it makes you see your childhood (and everyone else’s) in a completely new light.

Rob writes, “I’ve never met anyone who has tried to imagine what it would have been like to grow up without family.” I am one of those people who have never tried to imagine such a thing. I always understood (intellectually) the importance of stability and family, but never deeply tried to understand it. Troubled, though, has made me *feel* it. As a result, I think this book has helped me become a better father. With a deeper understanding of how profound early parental influence is, I now put even more effort into making sure my child is loved and supported.

I initially bought a handful of copies to give to parents I know with foster children, but I will now also get additional copies to give to other parents I know.

Rob's story is remarkable, and that alone makes Troubled worth the read. But more than just a story, Troubled reveals important insights and lessons on family and children that can change lives. Perhaps this book will be a catalyst for change at a societal level (and I really hope it is).


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James
5.0 out of 5 stars I have read a lot of books, and this book is OUTSTANDING.Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2024
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Rob is an excellent writer and story teller. I have read a lot of books, and this book is OUTSTANDING. I felt like I was right there seeing, feeling, and experiencing his story as I'm reading it. What especially stands out to me is how he is able to observe and understand the unique place each person is in as an individual, where they are coming from, and how he honors that through his work with dignity and respect. He meets you where you are at, and gets that there is no one size fits all.

He also presents the facts about boys, men, and foster care, the real hypocrisy in elite circles and universities, and how important a warm, loving, and stable family is growing up. This book specifically helped me feel into and understand for myself how being raised in an abusive, neglectful, and chaotic environment affected me. So much so now I am searching for find a good counselor/psychologist.

I cannot speak more highly of the this book, and how important it is as a contribution to humanity. You should definitely read this book!




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JS
5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and mind-openingReviewed in the United States on July 25, 2024
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I don't share the childhood experiences of the author, but his account has helped me understand the behaviors and choices of the many people who grew up in similar environments. His book also joins with the biographies or autobiographies that inspired him to pursue a better life, and he hopes it will similarly help kids living in his past circumstances. At the same time it offers a just and clear-eyed critique of what he calls "luxury" ideas, and an urgent argument for the supreme importance of stability in childhood to form adults capable of constructive and loving behaviors.




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Taylor
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant. Sneakily so.Reviewed in Canada on October 16, 2024
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Conservatives often struggle to find compelling narratives to undergird their criticisms of well-intentioned progressive policies and their downstream effects. They also struggle to argue in a way that appeals to the sensibilities of liberals.

Enter Rob K. Henderson. Through his life story, he lays a narrative foundation that gives his “luxury beliefs” argument a weight it would otherwise not have had he spent the whole book hitting the reader with dry stat after dry stat about birth rates, welfare, and single parent family outcomes. His is an “own voices” account that should appeal quite persuasively to the sensibilities of a liberal reader. It’s also a very easy read. I finished it in one sitting.

This is a great book to recommend to someone in your family or friend group who you wish would think more deeply about the pitfalls of knee-jerk progressivism that trickle down to and ultimately harm the very people who liberals profess to want to help. (Hopefully, you can convince said family member or friend to look past the JBP endorsement)

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Dsantosricci
5.0 out of 5 stars Livro maravilhosoReviewed in Brazil on July 21, 2024
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Este livro é muito interessante. Deveriam traduzir ao português, pois há muitas pessoas que se beneficiariam em nosso país. Recomendo .

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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you Dr. RobReviewed in India on August 13, 2024
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I have completed reading it, page to page.
It was very useful, the idea of luxury beliefs.
I read it on the recommendation of Dr. Jordan Peterson. Since I watched you on his podcast.

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hoehn
5.0 out of 5 stars Extraordinary perspective on American lifeReviewed in Germany on April 10, 2024
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The story of Rob is moving, insightful and nonetheless enjoyable to read.

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Tom Grey
5.0 out of 5 stars Best biography of a foster child from a very very unstable childhood into a Yale grad psychologist.Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 1, 2024
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From the inside of elite Yale but coming from the far far outside of LA & CA foster care, Rob has a unique voice, a more authentic Point of View, and a penetrating intellect, combined with an honesty that is socially brutal. He coined the term “Luxury Beliefs” as an obviously true phrase to describe current pathologies of elite rhetoric, where “what they say” is far from “what they do”. The many insights already available in his substack and his X feed demonstrate the value of reading him, and taking him both seriously AND literally.

When an elite Yalie is criticized by a non-elite, the words are ignored, since all non-elite are eminently ignorable. But if it’s from a Yalie, it’s dismissed as hypocrisy – “you’re here, aren’t you?”. He was there, entering Yale in 2015, but that came after years of non-com service in the military, preceded by difficult years being raised first by a drug addict mom, then a series of foster homes, then a problematic adoption & divorce. He was in many schools with poor grades, but living real life stories of young men in bad situations. True stories of real harm, damage, and even death – so different from snowflakes who claim to be harmed by some Halloween costumes.

So many brief stories that are so human, often funny, funny-sad, and too often tragic. A series of snapshots of life among the majority of Americans w/o college degrees. Rob writes with such an empathic voice it’s as easy to keep reading as the first chapter of a Harry Potter book. The problem of elite beliefs is destroying civilization. Problems can’t be fixed unless they are accurately and honestly identified – Troubled, this book, does more to clarify the human problems of luxury beliefs than any other book.
Not just a good book. An important book making the important the point Rob makes: an unstable home is worse for children than poverty. The low number of foster care kids who get a college degree, 3%, is far lower than the 11% who get degrees tho their parents are in the bottom quintile of income (0-20%).

Rob seems to be in the process of becoming the leading psychologist advocating marriage and stable homes for children, with his own example and life experience as something to avoid. Reminds me of how my own father was a good example of what NOT to be as a husband and father.

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