After Sorrow: An American Among the Vietnamese by Lady Borton | Goodreads

After Sorrow: An American Among the Vietnamese by Lady Borton | Goodreads




After Sorrow: An American Among the Vietnamese

by
Lady Borton,
Grace Paley (Foreword by)
3.84 · Rating details · 45 ratings · 9 reviews
A RARE CLOMPSE INTO THE SOUL OF VIETNAM
In her deeply moving memoir of Vietnam, Lady Borton presents the American war from the view of the courageous peasants on the ground, underneath the B-52's and Agent Orange-stripped trees. Their extraordinary stories are of a kind we have not heard before: stories of women who smuggled weapons under vats of fish sauce, concocted camouflage from banana leaves, dug tunnels, carried messages through enemy territory, gave away their children to keep them safe, all the while tending to the daily work of village life-providing food, burying and visiting the dead, and observing religious holidays. Drawing on twenty-five years of work in Vietnam, Borton achieves an unprecedented intimacy with its people and lets their voices set the tone of conciliation and renewal. Without calling attention to herself, Borton-the first westerner allowed to live in a Vietnamese village since the war's end-suffuses her account with a deep respect for all those we left behind. (less)

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Paperback, 320 pages
Published October 15th 1996 by Kodansha (first published May 1st 1995)
Original Title
After Sorrow: An American Among the Vietnamese (Kodansha Globe)
ISBN
1568361610 (ISBN13: 9781568361611)
Edition Language
English

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Mar 24, 2007Lorraine rated it it was amazing
This was absolutely entrancing, an almost magical look at the Viet Nam War and it's aftermath by an American woman who lived much of it. Her friendships with the peasants who fought and lived and worked and somehow survived in those perilous times are testaments to the healing and beauty to be found in the laying aside of enmity and distrust between former enemies. Her rich cultural and historical snapshots are infused with humor, insight, camaraderie, compassion, and if I could give a few books 5+ stars, this would be one. (less)
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Jan 13, 2009Joette rated it really liked it
I've read so much about the Viet Nam War. This is a great perspective on what life was like for the Vietnamese before and after the war.
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Dec 16, 2018Mark rated it it was amazing
Deep Listening
by Mark Chmiel

“I’m sorry. We Americans have never taken responsibility for what we did.”
–Lady Borton

Lady Borton worked for the American Friends Service Committee in South Vietnam from 1969-1971. A decade later, she assisted Vietnamese boat people and refugees. In the late 1980s and 1990s, she visited Vietnam several times, as she was intent on seeing what it was like to live with the peasants, especially the women. Her memoir, After Sorrow: An American among the Vietnamese, is a chronicle of her encounters with ordinary Vietnamese who gradually opened up to her and revealed their stories of resisting the French and the Americans. She visited people and friends in the Mekong Delta in the south, the Red River Delta in the north, and Ha Noi.

Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings occurred to me several times as I read. One of the Five Wonderful Mindfulness trainings calls for Deep Listening. It is Lady Borton’s deep listening to the Vietnamese that constitutes a gift to U.S. citizens whose socially conditioned ethnocentrism on the subject of the Vietnam War often ranges from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and extends to American military personnel supposedly still Missing in Action. Ms. Borton brings the experience of the Vietnamese to our attention.

Here is some of what she heard …

“Now I’ve turned fifty-five and retired. I have a new grandson to raise! Do you see, Little One? Being able to raise our grandchildren—that’s what ‘peace’ means.”

“Nguyen Hue taught us we could fight for a thousand generations.”

“Oh my, when Uncle Ho died in 1969, the bombing in the South was ferocious. As if the Americans thought bombs could break our will!”

“How can a house made of thatch like this withstand American bombs?

“We did everything! We climbed mountains, we hid under rivers. We captured prisoners. We carried ammunition. We trained ourselves to use weapons. We guided the soldiers when they wanted to attack the American base at Binh Duc. We were the guides, we were the spies. Don’t you see? Ours was a citizens’ war. We were the woman fighters.”

“We squatted like this in the bunker. The Americans were so far up in the sky, what did they know about our customs? They pushed buttons and dropped bombs. Then they flew away to fancy hotels in Thailand.”

“It was Agent Orange that drove us into the strategic hamlet. After Agent Orange, we had no fish, and we had nothing to drink.”

“[General Westmoreland] thought his American soldiers were better than the French. He thought the Americans would win their Dien Bien Phu at Khe Sanh. But that’s not what Khe Sanh was about! We didn’t want that hill!”

“How could we have weapons? We were poor! Our weapon was our wits.”

“I have plenty of food now, and I live with the peaceful sounds of birds and cicadas. Still, the sadness never leaves. Can you understand, Little One? Our sorrow comes and goes like the river. Even at low tide, there is always a trickle.”

“Always start your day with tiger balm, do you understand, Child? Go ahead, go on now, begin your day.”

“Don’t you understand, Little One?” Second Harvest said, gesturing toward the creek and the house with its ladder of light lying on the fresh water urns under the thatch eaves. “This is all we wanted.”

“Uncle Ho told us we must study tirelessly, from books, from each other. He said that as soon as we conquered one accomplishment, we must press on to the next if we were to maintain our independence.”

“You will transplant [rice] with us for days, but we’ll do this for weeks. And then for years.”

“If I get a chicken—a plump chicken—and give it to you, will you raise it on your farm in America?”

A man, Senior Uncle: “This is the only picture of me young. Give it to your father. Tell him to come live with me in Ban Long. I am his younger brother. I will take care of him in his old age.”

“We should have apologized to the French and the Americans after their defeats. After we break our heads against each other, we must recognize we are family.”

“When you return home, give my regards to your father. And give my best wishes to the American people.”

“Don’t forget us.” (less)
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Jul 02, 2007Patti rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS
Shelves: non-fiction
I loved this book. I want to share it with everyone I know, and yet I want to keep it close to me for a while. Up until this book, my understanding of the Viet nam war was one-sided. This is a close look at how the war affected the people who were being bombed - in their own words. Ms. Borton carefully cultivates her relationships in Viet Nam by always being respectful and curious, and the people she meets open up to her and reveal what their lives were like-how they coped, what parts they played in the war, why they fought. Is it a big surprise that why they fought was completely lost on the American government and military? Maybe our current president should read this book before making comments on how Iraq is like Viet Nam. Maybe all future presidents should read this book before they decide to go to war. Maybe all of us, in our invasion crazy country, should read this book and protest more vigorously what wars our leaders deem necessary.

OK, enough of the political commentary. You should read this book so that you can be transported to the countryside of Viet Nam - to walk the rice paddies and drink tea on the porches while helping the ladies prepare food. You should read this book to bask in the warmth, the hospitality, the humor and the sorrow of the Viet Namese people. You should read this book because it is an example of how those who were once our enemies are now our friends, and to wonder why we ever fought in the first place.

I would give this book 10 stars if I could. (less)
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Dec 31, 2011Wendy Feltham rated it really liked it
I wanted to begin to understand Vietnam after the war, and found this amazing book at the library, covered with accolades by writers I admire-- Grace Paley, Tim O'Brien, Gloria Emerson. Although this book was published in 1995, I consider it an outstanding memoir that should be read by more people today. Lady Borton (I'm not sure why her name is Lady?) was a farmer and bus driver at home in Ohio, and since she was brought up Quaker, she was able to work for the American Friends Service Committee in North and South Vietnam during the war. She learned Vietnamese, and later worked with the boat people who left Vietnam. This book is about her travels and her work in three places in central and North Vietnam in the 80s and 90s. She describes her relationships with the Vietnamese peasants and workers she lives with, often telling their stories of survival and resistance during the war through her own stories about cooking or harvesting side by side with them. I loved learning about their daily lives, their families, and even hearing their names translated into English. This book is hard to read as an American, and as a result I could only read it in short bursts, so it took me a longer time to read than I expected. (less)
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Mar 03, 2008Annette rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2008, memoirs
I just briefly skimmed this book as I have a huge pile of books on Vietnam that I have to get through in the next few weeks before I have to return them. I chose to skim this one as it is set in Vietnam of the late 80s and early 90s and I've read several other books about the same period already. However...this book is well written with an interesting story of an American (Quaker) who travels and sometimes lives in Vietnam over a 25 year period from during the war to the mid 90s. This book is about the period roughly between 1988 to 1993 and depicts her visits to three villages and her conversations and friendships with 3 groups of women and their families. Very interesting and revealing. (less)
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Sep 08, 2018Ruth Hogger rated it it was amazing
I cried from the first page. But After Sorrow's power is in its poignancy, that guides us beyond sorrow and sympathy, towards true empathy.

Written by the first American woman to live among the Vietnamese following the American War, Burton writes of the pain, sorrow and loss of the Vietnamese people with such heart that she reveals the essential beauty of human life - hope, love, and the capacity for the deepest forgiveness imaginable. Blending historical fact, autobiography and pure poetry, After Sorrow reveals the darkest shadows of the human soul and leaves the reader holding the preciousness of human life in their hands. (less)
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Apr 25, 2010Barbara rated it really liked it
This is a moving memoir by Lady Borton (whom I met when I lived in Athens) about Viet Nam. So many sad stories of loss and moving stories of sacrifice. Made me think of that wonderful group of Vietnamese students I had in 1997 and wonder how and what they're doing.
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Jul 11, 2014Parenthetical Grin rated it really liked it
Written with love and humor and, I would dare to say, solidarity; and without any of those nasty strains that can make their way into travel accounts so easily.