Love in a Time of Loneliness: Three Essays on Drives and Desires
by
Paul Verhaeghe
3.77 · Rating details · 259 Ratings · 9 Reviews
Paul Verhaeghe here shows us what it is about sex that both motivates and inhibits us. A humorous and razor-sharp analysis of the relationship between contemporary man and woman, of the disappearance of the Oedipus complex and the shattering of classic gender roles, and of the boredom, anxiety, and anger ever-present in postmodern society, this book is a contemporary polemic whose refreshing informality belies its serious intent. (less)
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Hardcover, 222 pages
Published April 17th 1999 by Other Press (first published 1998)
Original Title
Love in a Time of Loneliness: Three Essays on Drives and Desires
ISBN
189274631X (ISBN13: 9781892746313)
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Oct 25, 2015Arjun Ravichandran rated it really liked it
Don't be fooled by the pithy misdirection of the word 'essays'. Not only is there a definite structure, with the 2nd essay latching on effortlessly on the winds of the 1st, and repeating for the next iteration, but also the word essay does not begin to to justice to the depth of theoretical psychology contained.
(Why do philosophers continue to misuse the word, though? Both Heidegger and Sartre called their 600+ page unreadables 'essays' as well)
I found this book to be slightly more (for lack of a better word) pessimistic than the last one (What About Me : The Search for Identity in Market Society). In the latter, the structure of the book with its implicit critique of neoliberalism sustained a note of hope, a hope of change. In this book, however, there is a much more theoretical focus on the Lacanian view of desire as fundamentally futile, as fundamentally unknowable. ("Desire is desire of the other"). I am not sure if this was the author's intention, however.
I was intrigued by the distinction between desire/drive, the palpable unsayability of jouissance, the re-imagining of traditional Freudian notions of Oedipus complex/death-drive etc, rhythmic music as an offshoot of traditional shamanic punctuation of an overflowing anxiety-eliciting jouissance, the dialectic mutualism of law and desire . . . There are tons of such intriguing insights into our behavior as human animals.
Strongly recommended for students of philosophy, psychology, and anthropology. (less)
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Mar 05, 2016Renate rated it really liked it
Very interesting, thoroughly enjoyed the first essay. His distinction between desire and drive, longing and lust was very insightful as was the developmental and evolutionary perspective. Halfway through I found myself struggling through the more hermetic passages (I never did enjoy Lacan).
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Jun 07, 2017Arthur rated it did not like it
Shelves: psychology
As far as this book deserves to be called a book, let alone be published by a self-respecting publisher, and the author deserves to be called an author, let alone an academic, this book of this author can only be seen as rubbish that is sadly praised because of the language in which it is written (not because of the content, as that is either non-existing or manipulating).
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Dec 05, 2017Erik Steevens rated it it was amazing
Shelves: psychology
This book gives in a very clear and readable way what it is all about drives & desires that occupy every man and woman from birth until the starting role of the "me" and beyond.
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May 25, 2016Emily Catherine rated it it was amazing · review of another edition
I found this to be incredibly insightful, having not studied psychology or psychotherapy myself. It is a great point of connection and understanding of Freudian psychology and regardless of acceptance or rejection of his approaches, this book provides depth and richness in understanding the human condition.
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